I Tried To Buy The World's Most Expensive Liquid
And oh, boy, it was an experience.
Ladies and Gents,
Welcome back. This week’s random thought is absolutely wild. When I ask you what the most expensive liquid is, what do you think? Liquid plasma? Oil? Insulin? Well, believe it or not, the most expensive liquid in the world is scorpion venom…and I tried to buy it.
The Cost
I’m not gonna sugarcoat this. One gallon of scorpion venom costs 39 million dollars. That’s 39 with six zeros after it. Don’t all rush to grab your checkbooks at once though. Even if anyone had the money, one gallon of scorpion venom is just not available on the open market.
If anyone actually wanted to buy it, you could only do it in minuscule amounts. One gram of scorpion venom will run you about 7k-8k. One gram. To put that into perspective, one gram of pure gold costs only about $64 (I was going to refer to scorpion venom as liquid gold, but it is far more expensive than that).
Now, even one gram of venom is inconceivable to buy. Most people buy it in micrograms (one gram is a million micrograms). If you're like me, who can’t afford a gallon of this stuff, then you can spend $150 and get a drop that is smaller than a single grain of sugar.
…Why?
Why is it so expensive? That’s the question that’s certainly on my mind. Well, we can attribute the price to a variety of reasons. One is its scarcity. If you really wanted a gallon, you’d have to milk a single scorpion 2.6 million times (is milk even the correct term?).
And how do you milk a scorpion for venom? Farmers used to just kill scorpions and acquire the little amount of venom contained within their bodies at the time. Now, the process is much more complicated. There are simpler and less effective methods, but the most effective method involves placing the scorpion in between two rubber tongs, which activates its defense response. Then, a slight electrical current is passed through the scorpion. The slight current slowly causes the venom to seep out, where it can then be harvested.
I know . . . so nerdy.
The majority of farms are not in America and do not adhere to strict worker safety laws. While farms always carry anti-venom (which is actually one of the things the venom is used to produce), It’s not uncommon for workers to be stung.
Uses
Another reason why scorpion venom is so expensive is because of its uses. As more research is done, more medical benefits are being found. The venom is found to work well as, ironically, a pain reliever. Its proteins are also used to treat chronic auto-immune diseases. Evidence suggests that there are more medical benefits, and we are only scratching the surface of it.
It’s also used to create scorpion anti-venom. Scorpion anti-venom has extremely high demand, considering that scorpions are one of the most deadly species in the world, and humans are one of the stupidest species in the world (no, you do not need to take a selfie with the scorpion - I don’t care how many likes it will get).
Of Course, I Tried To Buy It
My friends, this newsletter is important to me, and each week, I strive to bring you the most accurate information. So what better way to do that than to try to buy scorpion venom online. I’m gonna be honest with you all…I still don’t know how (or where) to get it.
I spent over an hour just looking for places to buy it, and I found nothing. I could barely even find out if it's legal to own commercially (I’m pretty sure it is). So, if you or your friend is in desperate need of a few micrograms of scorpion venom, I daresay you are out of luck.
My search has made me wonder…is this some secret niche that everybody is like “Let’s keep this on the down low?” Maybe. Is scorpion venom so rare that it is just not available commercially? Probably. Am I too scared to dig deep and risk downloading some virus on my computer? Yes, yes I am.
Buying scorpion venom must be like meeting Harry Styles. You either have to be really lucky or know the right people.
For the record, even if I found a place to purchase it, I wouldn’t have actually bought it. I am not that wealthy, and (shockingly) I have no use for scorpion venom. I also would like to stay off the FBI watchlist.
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Truly Random Shower Thought Of The Week
It's not fair that coffee stains your teeth brown, but milk doesn't stain them white.
Thank You for Reading
Ladies and Gents, stay tuned for next week’s random thought. In the meantime, I’d like to leave you with a quote from two great philosophers, Bill and Ted. “Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes!”
All the best,
H.R. Berry